Harmonious Humanness… Consensual Coordination
Doing things together in language, move and coordinate with each other. How does one read the new circumstances and change the
Once the occurrence creates enough of a regularity over and over again, and once it is determined, does one coordinate it’s new actions based on that display of behavior?
What if my current actions are due to stories that I made in my mind from something you have said days, weeks even months ago, and I haven’t read the recent gestures or actions and I haven’t changed my approach, and now you are frustrated with me? What could I have done to prevent making you feel uncomfortable?
I think that I miss the “signs / signals” that lead to a purpose for you. I believe this has happened due to the lack of clear communication or using language that makes sense to you.
Even in watching this video from Pille Bunnell, I am still unclear about my own “concensual coordination with others that I am closely related to.”
To act in harmony with each-other, she says we do easily and frequently… I don’t think I do… it seems like a lot of work to work together! And she says that we co-habitate without having to think or evaluate… I beg to differ!
I find that I get overwhelmed by having to coordinate with others and worry about their feelings and try not to make assumptions, and make sure that what I say is something that will resonate with that person, then hope that it even does resonate, waiting for a response, then seeing that it doesn’t and yet they don’t say what their body language is showing, so then I ask about it, but I don’t really want to ask about it, because I can’t even fathom the responsibility of holding space for them because I have SO MUCH shit going on in my life that I haven’t even asked you how your day was, and now I can’t breathe… I have to go outside and it’s freezing cold… and I am burning up from embarrassment and I didn’t get your consent, and now you feel shitty because I tell you that I need to let you go, because I can’t even respond to your simple request, the tears are just flowing and my heart aches from fear and embarrassment, and it has NOTHING to do with you, it is my own fears that have brought me to this irrational place and GOD I just hope that you can accept me just the way I am, and still love me, just the way I am… please don’t abandon me. Please don’t stop talking to me. Please… please talk to me. I’m sorry for reacting so poorly. I’m sorry I blurted that shit out on you, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that I said what I said and shut you out without explaining, but in explaining, would you even listen, and if you would listen, would you really hear me? And am I supposed to stop being all about me, and just hear you. God I just want to be heard, and supported, and acknowledged and not given up on!
This is starting to make sense…
Apply a process to the situation… to distinguish, understand, think before speaking. Observe.
I like the repetition of coordinating things and coordinating things.
I tend to sense more than focus on language, especially when in-person. I sense people’s feelings and perceptions whether they say it or not… and I am “sensitive” to them, and try so hard to act in a way that pleases them… why?