Humanness in it’s messiness

I love that my prof Pille Bunnell has a website called “Ecology of Humanness as a Matrix of Ideas”

This to me implies that there are no right/wrong answers, and that it is a process of understanding that will never end, a matrix that is just created, developed morphed, changed and then interpreted in all sorts of different ways.

Just the notion of this thought is daunting to think that I am about to commit the next two years of my life coming to understand this, or better yet coming to understand that I don’t understand it at all!  But what a process of juicy messiness this fabulous journey will be.

This weekend I spent 3.5 days in a personal development course called Inside Passage.

I have been taking the Excellence Seminar Series for over the past two years, and every time I want to dig deeper into my own self-discovery, I take these courses… then while in them, I don’t want to face what I thought I wanted to face, and find myself yet again in the process.  And it is just that… it is all about the process!

If I want to dig deeper into this process of human messiness, I wonder what the Nervous System can teach me…


Dr. Pille Bunnel (my prof) suggests that in our past we make mistakes, or someone else does, and then it alters our life to then believe in something and live our lives by that reasoning.  Bunnel states on a more logical level that “mistakes occur after the happening.”  and that “We should congratulate someone who has just revealed that they made a mistake.” This is an expansion of their point of view and understanding and awareness that we are all humans and we will not die if we make a mistake.

From the Inside Passage’s perspective, if we have the ability to forgive and let go of that mistake, then create a new way of living, being, and doing, then we choose that better path, and we can move on from these wrongdoings.

I also appreciate what Bunnell suggests that “it is not appropriate to castigate them for not seeing what they do not see.”

We know not to blame a blind person for being blind, and this is only a more subtle case of the same.  “Don’t you see?  Are you blind?” is a comment made by an observer who has a different structure at that moment.  What you can say is “From what you say or do, I discern that you do not see what I see.”   Bunnell

An example of my understanding of this process of love, interaction, and relating in the matrix of the “Beauty of Messiness” through a model that I am asked to use in my class… watch this:

After I recorded this video, Gary said “It should be called the Beauty of Messiness!”  And reflected on the moment that we both put the two blue sticks into the model.  He said that he was moved by the fact that we both accepted each other’s flaws, and each-others painful relationships in each other’s lives and lovingly added them to this linked system of our new relationship.  Accepting it as part of us and that it isn’t perfect.

When I was in my Inside Passage program this weekend, I shared the same story, and someone said that I should brand this as a relationship development tool and facilitate the process of relating using sticks and knobs.  Haha.  Maybe I will.


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