I woke up this morning reflecting on a pickle that I experienced at work. And it wasn’t the pickle that hit home so much, or the fact that I felt incompetent and embarrassed. What it all came down to was, how I dealt with this pickle, and the honest feedback and reflection that I received that smacked me in the face yet again.
A year ago I wrote an aggressive facebook post about empathy, due to an incident where people that I considered to be close reacted to what I was doing and it offended me, and then I reacted.
What is Empathy ~ By Jamie Black
When one decides to volunteer their time in a community… who says what way is the right way? And who has the right to be mad at a volunteer?
Recently I have gone above and beyond in my life to take on some leadership roles in my community both out of necessity (because no one else would) and also because of my passion to “Inspire and be inspired”. Yet lately, for some reason, I have had a few people offended by my voluntary efforts and publicly blame me for doing something wrong. I have decided to take an empathetic approach?
I believe that I don’t always do things the “Right” way, and that I may not have checked in with everyone to make sure I’m not doing it “wrong”… but I am doing this for the good of the people. I realize that my leadership style is not for everyone, and I know that I cannot please everyone… but I hope to inspire some. Third, I wonder what inspires these people who do not like my style to negatively express their opinion of me at me in public… I wonder if they were having a bad day.
What I have come to realize is that the “Self appointed people and their self appointed decisions” happen to be the “People who give a damn, and who Do Something… without fear of being wrong.”
To Empathize it is a good idea not to let other peoples inability to control their own emotions… so based on experience and practice, I suggest you suck back the defensive and fear based retort and take on speaking with empathy, with the most loving voice, say “I hear you, how would you like to do it?”
p. 162 “Soul Retrieval ~Her face is darkened by the shadows of her dark blue hoodAs she enters, drama with her, center stage, embodied shadowShe is beautiful like you wouldn’t imagine a shadowPresent, not chaotic or scary, real, irresistableLike the something that left a holeThat you keep trying to fill, and she is the fillingYou wonder how she could fit in all this light body you’ve createdThat still manages to leave you hungryBut you need her, like you need water, or breathYou watch her, captivated, owning the stageAlthough she has done nothingBut she disappears, stage becomes emptyYou think you’ve imagined her as the lights come onAnd the show beginsIt is a happy show with feel good vibesBut you feel no truth in the lines so you exit, stage leftYou start to walk, alone without knowing where you are goingBut wanting to figure it outOut of thabit you head forward to the lightShe comes from bbehind the corner and grabs youDragging you into a hole in the groundDirt and mud marke your dress, bugs are crawling through your hairShe is taking you deeper and deeper towards a nestMade of everything that grows int he earthShe welcomes you in, pulling off her hoodYou know her, and she feeds you, until you are full\From her own hands, filling all the empty parts of your soulShe makes medicine for the wounds you abandoned long agoShe gently stitches them closer as she beckons frozen tears to fallAnd she catches them in her hands“Those don’t belong to you” she saysAnd she returns your tears to the oceanAnd you feel it move in your whole bodyOceanic rhythms rising and falling, rocking you to sleep, sleep childRest in your soul, wake in the morning and hunger no more. By Jennifer Lothrigel 2011″